What was I thinking

Everybody makes poor decisions.  I’ve made plenty, however I am just fine with laughing at myself over them.

On Sunday I ran 3.75 miles.  Got home super energized.  I had planned on making breakfast when I got back (eggs, toast), however my endorphin-charged brain decided that was an insufficient meal.  So I cleaned up, chugged some v-8, and headed to Trader Joe’s.  Begin poor decisions.  Everything looked SO DELICIOUS.  I wound up buying several good for me delicious things.  And a lemon cake.  And a container of ice cream.  I will be running a lot to make up for it.

Spring came back.  I’m thinking we’re out of the overnight freezes.  My goal this week is to get the sprinkler system up and the sprayers working, and start prepping for planting this weekend.  I had to buy a new hose for the front yard.  The cheap one I got last year lasted exactly one year.  This would be why I don’t buy things from wal-mart.  And probably why I shouldn’t drive over it to get into the garage.  And probably why I should have unhooked it for the winter.  In my defense, the previous hose lasted far longer!!!

On to better decisions…

I agreed a couple of weeks ago to play a Fasch concerto for flute and oboe, with me doing the flute part.  It’s a bit high.  Ok, a lot high.  However, I saw it as a challenge and got to work.  Current assessment:  definitely high, but manageable and sounds pretty decent.  It also has the added bonus of giving me some quality time with that range on my oboe.  I don’t get to exercise it much with baroque music.

In addition to that duet, I’ll be playing another one with Josue Casillas.  We’ll be reprising the Bach duet I did with Elizabeth Pitcairn back in February.  I expect my face to fall off at the end of each concert, but I think I’ll be in good shape and ready to attack it when the time comes in June!

I found a 20 week marathon training program and started it this week.  This is the easy portion (4 runs a week).  I can do that.  So the big question becomes, which half-marathon am I going to tackle?  I haven’t figured that out yet, so until I decide I’ll probably be repeating sets of weeks until I figure out what I should be doing.  Or I might just pick a set of weeks and repeat them endlessly.  I’m not in a huge rush either way.  The important part for me right now is just the running part – it’s been a significant portion of my therapy.  It’s just nice to go out and pound the pavement until my problems fade away.

Holy Shit Snacks

Now that I’m digging out of my personal well of misery, I’m actually able to focus on some of the insanity that can be called our Presidential Election.  Summary:  OMGWTFBBQ.  Logically, I know there are limits to presidential power.  Our country is supposed to be equally balanced between executive, legislative, and judicial.  One cannot do things without the other.  You want change? Uproot congress.  Hate on him/her all you want, but remember: the President has a great deal of power and is our spokesperson, but the President does not decide how everything works.  It’s like a coach in a basketball game.  The President can strategize and push initiatives, but cannot control every movement of our government.  That said, it’s somewhat scary to know the likely nominees aren’t people of good character, and if one of them gets his way I could be lumped in with the rest of the the immigrants and booted out.  So for now I’m going to hold to the idea that while we may elect an idiot to office (okay, I’ll concede:  when don’t we do that), overall s/he’ll have a congress to contend with and probably won’t get to do much other than embarrass us.  A lot.

Our town was visited recently by a couple of Republican nominees who both held rallies a couple of blocks from my house.  One filled up the streets.  The other didn’t.   I didn’t mind the rallies at all.  It’s expression, support, and a way to hear what someone has to say.  The thing I did mind the most was the absolute hatred surrounding them.   I was out walking one of those afternoons and passed by a small group of supporters talking about the rally.  They weren’t talking action, phone calls, or door-to-door campaigning.  They were talking about how they felt the election should end with certain democrat candidate in a wheelchair, in jail, or dead.  How can you wish another human being dead or injured just because you don’t agree with their politics?  How can you encourage beating up the opponent’s supporters?  Oh, right.  Let me go look at all the wars going on in the world.

It’s just gross.  And sad.  On to slightly less gross and sad things.

Running is still going great.  In fact, it’s getting much easier.  My last post was about my fight with my brain when I go and do this.  I can now say the fight has diminished, and I’m finding some peace with it. I still undergo the first stage:  Convincing brain I should go run when the alarm goes off.  Beyond that, once I’m out the door it’s just time to pound pavement and think.  I can toss off 3+ miles without stress or misery, which for me seems like a miracle.  I thought about going 4 miles today, but I had a meeting to get back to and needed the time to wind down.  Trust me, I’m a total spaz post-run, and if I don’t decompress a bit I sound crazy.  My next goal will be five miles.  When I hit that, I’m going to start in on half marathon training.  I don’t have a particular one in mind yet, but I’ll find one and get it done.  Because why not?  And because I can.

We got through the storm.  It dumped a ton of snow on the mountains, but we mostly dealt with super gusty wind and rain.  I did have the pleasure (pfft) of driving up through said snow to Incline on Sunday for a rehearsal.  Very wet snow, so the roads weren’t too terrible.  I have a violinist friend, Trudy, that is nice enough to accompany me on those drives so I’m not going it alone in a white-knuckled panic attack.  Honestly, I like driving.  I don’t mind inclement weather.  The part that kills me is anxiety.  I pretty much run through every worst case scenario in my head.  Oh no, I never think things are fine.  I pack for every contingency.  I am one of those people with the emergency water, flares, chains, food, blankets, and cell phone chargers in their car.  It makes me feel better.  Now apply this type of thinking to the rest of my life and you can see why I’m a mess most of the time.

We’re doing St. Matthew Passion in orchestra right now.  It’s an amazing and beautiful piece of music.  It is also a huge pain in the ass to play.  I have to swap through all three instruments (oboe, oboe d’amore, and English Horn).  The parts I play are long and never let you breathe.  When I finish the bass aria near the end, I’m positive I want to lay down and pass out.  Can’t do that, I have to pick up my oboe and do the finale.  I am allowed to pass out when it’s over.  I think.  Still, it’s my third year playing it, and it really is a good experience that lets me build some super chops and exercise all of my oboe kids.

Until next time!

This is my brain. This is my brain on running.

I feel like I go through the same routine every time I run.

At the computer, reminder just went off:

  • Brain:  no man, you got stuff to do!
  • Me:  eeeehhhh…I need to do this.
  • Brain:  No, really, you can just relax.  You have to work.
  • Me: Shut up, Brain.  Let’s go.

Getting clothes on:

  • Brain:  Really, you can skip.  You ran two days ago!
  • Me:  Shut up, Brain, we’re going.
  • Brain: FINE

Out the door, on the way:

  • Brain: LOOKIT.  What a beautiful day.  You should enjoy life.  Walk.  Smell the flowers.  Take some pictures for Facebook!
  • Me:  I’m setting the timers.
  • Brain: No, really, it’s cool.  Walk!
  • Me:  Lets go.
  • Brain: psh

Mile 0.0 – 0.4

  • Brain:  This isn’t so bad!
  • Me: I no, rite

Mile 0.5 – 06

  • Brain: This is a horrible idea!
  • Me:  Shut up and keep moving.

Miles 0.6 – 1.0

  • Brain:  Can we stop and walk a bit?
  • Me: NO
  • Brain:  It will be ok, you already went a half a mile!
  • Me: NO
  • Brain: Plllllleeeeeease???????
  • Me: SHUT UP

Mile 1.0

  • Brain: LOOK!  A WHOLE MILE!  Let’s walk!! YAY!!!!
  • Me: NO

Mile 2.0

  • Brain: I’m feeling pretty awesome.
  • Me:  YEAH!
  • Brain: Let’s keep going!
  • Me: No, let’s stop and walk a bit.
  • Brain: Shut up.  Keep moving.
  • Me: FINE

Mile 3.0

  • Brain: YES.  I RULE.  YOU RULE.
  • Me:  YEAH!
  • Brain: Let’s sprint the last bit!!!
  • Me: YEAH!

Mile 3.2

  • Me: Oh god.
  • Brain: Oh god.
  • Stomach:  I hope we didn’t eat anything, because I’m thinking about hurling.
  • Me & Brain: Shut up, Stomach.

End of run:

  • Brain:  That wasn’t so bad.  We rule!
  • Me: We do!
  • Brain: Now we don’t have to do it ever again!!
  • Me:  We are going again on Saturday.
  • Brain: DAMMIT