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2011 – The Year of the Toaster

Jan 2nd, 12 / 0 Comments

I don’t think I really need to go into too much florid detail about the events leading up to me declaring this the Year of  the Toaster.  This pretty much speaks for itself:

Last May I won the NRA toaster at an NRA fundraiser auction here in Gardnerville for $50.  Toaster was an immediate hit with everyone (mostly along the lines of  ”WTF it brands NRA on your TOAST?!?!!”).   Posted a pic on Twitter and FB.  I’m cool.  End of story.

Nope, not the end of the story.  Mid-December I get a bizarre message on Formspring from a reporter at Bloomberg asking if they can take pictures of my toaster.  At first I thought it was a whole new level of Nigerian scam, and then I considered it may have been the worst pickup line on the planet.  After some careful Google searches I determined the guy messaging was a legitimate reporter, so I emailed him.

Two emails and three phone calls later, Bloomberg sent a local photographer (David Calvert) out to take pictures of my toaster.  David came in with a loaf of bread and shot pictures of my toaster from every angle.  A week later they appeared in the NRA fundraising article on Bloomberg.com.

...no, seriously, that is my toaster in my kitchen

The moral of the story is:  NRA toast is delicious and photogenic.

I really have nothing more to add, other than acknowledging I’m a total failure at keeping my site up to date, and I promise to do better.  Honestly.  Not like that other time I promised.  Or that other time before that.

 

Things I learned this December:

Your 15 minutes of fame can and will be taken by your toaster

It’s easy to find a job working from home after you buy a 4WD car specifically for commuting to the Bay Area in winter.

Having a 4WD car will also prevent snow in Northern NV, and ruin snowboarding.

Running in < 25 degree weather is not awesome, no matter how many layers you put on.

Working from home is the best when you like where you live.

 

Adventures in Gardnerville, Amusing, Things I Learned This Week

One Perfect Sunrise

Aug 14th, 11 / 1 Comment

I’m mostly settled in my home in the wonderful town of Gardnerville (Ranchos), NV.  So far so good.  My parents, Jen, and Brian pitched in with the unpacking.  Before I knew it everything was out of boxes and put away.  My sister helped me pick up some things for my patio and house, so it’s looking a lot less bare and more comfy every day.

I’m still working on furniture.  My living room is bare at this moment.  Need a fold out couch or futon for the guest room.  No TV, and I have to say I don’t miss it.  I have had plenty to do around here.  I’m sure I’ll want one come winter.  I was looking at one that has wi-fi so I don’t have to get cable.

I had quite an adventure this week.  It started with my cousin’s dog.  She had to give him up because she moved in with her in-laws, and they didn’t allow the dog.  She tried to adopt him out, but that didn’t happen, so he was going to go to the pound.  I offered to take him.  HUGE.  MISTAKE.  I am not a dog person, and I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  The puppy wasn’t neutered (doh), and he was super stressed out by the time I picked him up.  He had spent a week with my aunt, 3 days with my cousin, then I drove him to Nevada.  The first night he howled nonstop, tried to eat Spot, pooed on my floor, and in general was a pain in my ass.  My sister Jen took him in on Thursday.  Friday I took him to get fixed and get his shots caught up (yet another bill, crap).  He’s mostly settled in there, but needs constant watching and babysitting because he sprays (my cousin said he was house trained, but he has shown evidence to the contrary).

So all dog drama aside, this weekend I took care of my sister’s kids.  For her birthday I got her and her husband a night stay in Tahoe.  I offered to babysit while they were gone.  This mistake wasn’t nearly as huge, but again, I had no idea what I was getting myself into.  Nuclear diapers.  ”Nene <question>.  Nene! <question>  NENE <question>”.  ”Oh god, kids are quiet, what are they into?” “Nene!  Where are you going?” “TO THE BATHROOM.”  Ad nauseum.  I think I nearly ran out of my sister’s house when she got back.  Overall, it went really well.  For a baby and 3-year old, they were very well behaved.  Bonding time accomplished.

Travel to the city last week wasn’t all that bad.  I’m sure I’ll have a more informed opinion about this 9 day a month commute to the Bay Area after a few more trips.

Things I Learned This Week:

I am not a dog person.  I am a cat person.

Three year olds ask a lot of questions.

I need to figure out what Jen’s been feeding Max before I offer to change another diaper.

My new patio is awesome.  Furniture and a few decorations make all of the difference.

Sunday nights suck.  I have to go to bed early.

Adventures in Gardnerville, Family, Things I Learned This Week

How does it feel like to let forever be?

Jul 23rd, 11 / 0 Comments

Posting from my soon to be new town.  I picked up the keys to my new place today.

Aside from the normal trials and tribulations of moving, there have been some interesting wrinkles in the process.  First (and of course, most important), INTERNET.  As in, broadband.  My first foray into the boonies has uncovered a saddening fact:  there is just no good solid fast internet out here.   Everyone in the area is toiling under 5mbps, < 1.5mbps upload.  Practically STONE AGE!  All kidding aside, it’s not nearly fast enough for the type of work I have to do, so I’m going to have to purchase a business line to my place to ensure I have the up/down speeds I need.  That and video games.  As we all know, lag is not only unacceptable, but unseen since the dark days of Quake 3 Arena dialup.

Another is the sheer cost.  I’m paying lot of bills and deposits up front, so by my calculations I’m pretty much funding all of July and August utilities/rent/etc. over the course of 3 weeks.  OUCH.  So I’ve had to put aside my grandiose plans of buying a couch and couple of other comfort items.  I’m pretty much over that – it’s just me at my house, and I’m certain Spot will survive without a place to cover in cat-hair for a month.

And the last painful stab – my Hawaii vacation.  We’ve been purchasing our lodging and planned volcano trip, which set me back a few bucks.  Because of my credit card rule of paying off balances, I took another hit against the savings.  Ouch x 2.

I am still happy about moving.  I’m looking forward to it.  I won’t lie and say I haven’t had second thoughts or worries.  I had a horrible feeling last night that maybe, just maybe, I may not be doing the right thing.  It mostly passed by this afternoon.  It’s entirely possible I am doing the wrong thing – that I certainly will not deny.  But if there’s anything I’ve learned over the last few years, it’s far better to just dive in and try it out instead of saying “what if”.  I have spent my entire damn life avoiding complications and taking the safe route.  And then I get stuck with “what if”.  I’ve lost people I’ve cared about, and may have had a good life with, because of my need for safety and stability.  I’m done with that.  Maybe 36 is a little late to be risky, but who cares.  Got to try it once in my life.

On a last note, my sister was feeling down about her birthday, so I encouraged her to write down things she learned over the year so she could see that she accomplished something.  She came up with an amazing list of life lessons, some of them profound, some of them outright hilarious.  But it made her feel better.  I generally give useless advice, so for once I’m glad to see I helped someone out.

Things I learned this week:

Sometimes you just have to let the expenses stack up and pay them off later.  Spazzing about zero balances can make a mess of your finances.

My sister is an amazing individual with seemingly endless energy and enthusiasm for the ones she loves, family and friends alike.

There is a lot to be said for sitting in your backyard, soaking in the sun, and letting life cruise by.

Blue Hawaiians are dangerous drinks.  Especially when you let me make them.

Being an aunt is carrying your 3 year old niece around forever just to make her happy.  Because that’s all that matters sometimes.

 

Adventures in Gardnerville, Things I Learned This Week

After all, it was a great big world

Jul 13th, 11 / 0 Comments

Finally got a decent moving quote.  This one is awesomely low, and it includes packing.  I have no intention of packing my own stuff this time.  Last time I was tired, exhausted, and arrived at my destination only to confront the cold, hard reality that I had to unpack all of that crap.  I lived out of a box for 2 months.  Not doing that again.  So this time I’m taking the easy route and having somebody box all of my crap up and haul it.  Score 1 for lazy.

To get my awesome quote, I called 6 moving companies, scheduled visits with 3, and had one “phone consultation”.   The phone consultation was a total nightmare.  I wound up getting called by this guy named Armando.  Armando is a nice and friendly enough guy, except for the fact he sounds like he’s on crack or meth (or both).  Guy never let me finish a damn sentence.  Three emails and 2 phone calls later and I STILL couldn’t piece together how much the entire move was actually going to cost me.  All I got was “well, it depends.”  Add on to that they wanted a FIVE DAY window to pick up my stuff (as in, I sit in my house for 5 days and wait for them to show up).  So, yeah.  I decided against crack boy.

Eighteen days and counting until I’m headed home.

Things I learned this week:

Do not sign up for movers that sound like they are on crack.

Helping out folks with the attention span of ADD kindergarteners sucks.

Southwest Gas has terrible mapping for Gardnerville.

It’s amazing the amount of stuff you realize you have to buy post-breakup-move-out.

Realizing you have 55 days until your Hawaii vacation arrives is worth a good cubicle cry.

Annoyances, My Life, Things I Learned This Week

If I drink tonight, I’ll get you off my mind

Jul 5th, 11 / 0 Comments

Fourth of July weekend.  As usual, I hopped in my car and drove home.  Typical trip except the drive was a mess.  Fridays are usually pretty bad, but this was straight up awful.  Everybody and their mother was trying to get out of the city.  Took me forever to get through Livermore.  Then another forever over the mountain behind campers and trucks towing boats.  Can’t blame them though.  It was a gorgeous weekend.

Spent Saturday being mostly lazy.  Drove to Carson and had some poor girl attempt to fix my hair up – and to her credit she did a great job.  I walked out of there sporting some pimp copper red highlights.

Spent Sunday at the beach in South Tahoe.  My sister and beach trips – very funny.  She has everything planned down to the last detail (of course).  You only take what everyone can carry in one trip.  No more, no less. Kids included.  Brutal!  So we get there, park on the beach, and Jen and I begin our mission: get a tan.

I haven’t been tan since I moved to the bay area.  I wanted to soak enough Vitamin D to see me through the end of July when I move.  So I baked myself out there, and then brought out the sunblock when I figured I had a sufficient “base coat”, as Jen calls it.  Yeah.  Sunblock came out too late.  Walked out of there with a burn.  Not nearly as bad as the San Felipe burn I suffered, but parts of me have NOT been happy for the last couple of days.  I actually drove home in a dress because I couldn’t put anything else on.  Older lady with a sunburn, no bra, tube-top dress.  Yep.  That was me at the gas station filling up.  Booyah!

Totally worth it, though.  Aside from the 6 bug bites I accumulated this weekend, I’m in good shape.  Something about Nevada sun just makes me feel better all around.

Still waiting on the final OK to move, but I’m now 95% certain it’s in the bag.  I found a tiny place in the Ranchos not far from Jen’s house.  She’ll be able to keep an eye on Spot and Satan Cat while I’m away.

I’ve also been car shopping.  As much as I’ve loved my cursed little car, it’s not going to take me driving over mountains in the winter well.  So the time has come to give up my sportly little ride and replace it with something more practical.  I’ve had my poor brother in law doing car homework for me, and he’s suggested a few crossovers/SUVs with 4wd.  After I get settled, it’s car shopping time.  Whee.  I may finally cave and get a motorcycle, just so I can have something speedy.  I’ll miss my fast little car. :(

Things I learned this week:

When you are out in the sun, do NOT forget to put sunblock on the tops of your feet.

Fourth of July weekend is guaranteed to be the slowest drive anywhere on the planet.

There are mosquitoes in Gardnerville.  Eight bites worth.

Your niece likes sandcastles.  For about two minutes.  Then she stomps your hard work into oblivion.

Adventures in Gardnerville, The Car, Things I Learned This Week