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Homeless Chickens

For the first time since I’ve been here, the temperature has gone over 80 degrees.  I’m actually comfortable.  My phone says 89 degrees, so I’ll go with that.

I’ve been working hard on my shut-in status since I’ve moved here.   I am working from home, which entails rolling out of bed, putting on something tacky, and parking myself in front of this machine for 8-10 hours per day.  I let laundry run while I code, clean up during my lunch hour, and in general enjoy the cool weather and sunshine (…after the fog breaks).  I have my groceries delivered on Tuesday.  In other words, I don’t leave the house unless I have to.  Shut-in++.

So to ruin my shut-in cred, I go out for coffee in the mornings and try to run errands at lunch.  And then there are the trips to the city to do random things.  A couple of weeks ago Chris and I went with Dan to see Scott Pilgrim at the Metreon (or Vegas-lite, as I will now refer to it).  Imagine Neonopolis without slot machines and casinos surrounding it.

I’ve been working on a tiny Experiment Garden in the backyard.  By Experiment Garden, I mean “Plant a bunch of crap and see what lives.”  Oddly enough, everything is living.  I’ve come to the conclusion the only way to lose crops around here is to a) have a black thumb or b) bugs.  I have a teeny patch of strawberries, basil, oregano, mint, peas, chamomile, and basil.  I had catnip but the neighborhood cats decided it was their own personal weed garden and demolished it within a week.

This last weekend I went with Paul and Mark to go see the Birth of Impressionism at the deYoung.  After careful planning, a brunch, and a short drive around some scenic areas, we headed into the city and to the museum.  We parked, went in, and tada!  It was SOLD OUT.  I’m sure there are 100 reasons why they limit vistors, but I mean really.  How can you sell out artwork?  We bought tickets for a showing 2 weeks from now and headed to the Academy of Sciences instead. According to Paul the ticket girl was checking me out (wtf).  Kids everywhere.  But it’s a pretty neat museum/aquarium.  There are tons of exhibits.  At least two trips are required see everything.

After that we headed for cocktails in the Castro.  We were derailed by some friends of Paul and Mark’s on the way – one of them saw us driving by and invited is in.  After a beer, we headed to the Castro for sushi.  And there it was: the crowning moment of our day.  A homeless guy begging…while holding a live chicken.  Even Paul said “I have now seen it all.” and he’s been here forever.

So that pretty much covered the day.  Sold out artwork, lots of fish and reptiles, and live-chicken-holding homeless guys.  Take that, Vegas.

Things I have learned since moving here:

You can cram your car into the tiniest spaces

Beautiful architecture can be destroyed by people with lots of money, bad taste, and a can of ugly bright blue paint.

Chickens often make their escape, and when they do they wind up in my yard.  It has the best bugs.

Home is where your crap is

I have been in Oakland exactly two weeks.  Woohoo.  The weather is amazing, our yard is GREEN, and wood floors are the bomb.

I have to confess, I’m a little bit homesick today.  I don’t know what I miss exactly – my place,the comfortable paths I would walk/run/drive, or my well-worn ingrained habits and schedule.  All I know is every day I keep waking up thinking I have to fly back to Vegas tomorrow (because when I’m here, I’m usually on vacation).

Yesterday I had Paul and Mark over for dinner and to do some decorating.  By decorating I mean “put everything out and let them tell me where it goes”.  We also earthquake proofed my shelves, wtf.  I found these nice strap things at Ace hardware that more or less tethered my shelves to the walls.  Those shelves aren’t coming down unless the house comes down.

As you can tell, I did finally manage to get Salem (incarnate) into her carrier.  After several failed attempts, I took the advice of a site on the internet and “wet burritoed” her.  Per the website advice, I took a heavy bathtowel, soaked it, and chased her into a corner.  I then threw the towel over her.  Amazingly, she collapsed in a heap and ceased struggling.  I then grabbed her, wrapped her up like a burrito (get it??), shot a dose of kitty relaxing drugs into her mouth and dropped her headfirst into the carrier.

I promptly loaded the carrier, Spot, and the last of my stuff into the car and left town.  Two things:  Salem howled the entire way, and the kitty valium didn’t work for crap (should have gone with the benadryl).  I drove the whole trip in one shot.

Some differences between Vegas and the Bay Area I learned this week:

My car gets shitty gas mileage on hills.  Good thing I drive it less than 100 miles/week.

It’s nice being able to leave all of the windows open all day.

I am not at peace with the world when my home is  a mess.  I’m actually a bit of a whack job when my life is disorderly.

Two prong outlets suck.

Mounting a 52″ TV takes 4 people, 4 hours, and 1.5 bottles of wine.

Getting a CableCARD from Comcast is like trying to find the Holy Grail.

We are apparently due for THE BIG ONE this week.

Less is More

It’s amazing how much a minor adjustment at work can impact your life and free time.  I am still saying this despite the fact I had to work most of yesterday and some of today to effect a significant repair on my warehouse.  This one was a doozy.  Awesome enough to induce plenty of swearing as did my detective work on the data.  Still okay, though.  Over the last three weeks I have finally gotten a grip on the major issues plaguing the data and have effected changes that (this time) I know for sure will not be undone.  This means less time patching issues in a panic and the ability to sleep through the night.  Woohoo!

My brain in nearly full on data warehousing though.  Four months ago I made a serious push to move out of handing all work with stored procedures and made a concerted effort to become more fluent in real SSIS development – data flow tasks, row redirection, derived columns, the works.   I have learned so much I’m not sure I have any gray matter left to fit stuff in.  It also means I keep waking up solving my problems in SSIS.  Last night I woke up from a dream where I was attempting to solve all of my moving problems/tasks using a data flow task.  Those little arrows are hard to drag around.

Speaking of moving, hooray for my last couple of weeks here in Vegas.  I’m around 60% done with packing and have a date set for the movers to get me out of here.  I can and can’t wait.  I’m excited to move out there and be close to family.  I’m not excited about the following:

  • Getting the house fixed up/painted/cleaned so I can rent it
  • The eleventy billion little things I have to get done (I have a very long list)
  • Driving Spot and Salem (aka Satan Cat) 10 hours to San Francisco.

The cats.  Salem hasn’t been in a car for 2 years.  She’s a touchy cat under the best of circumstances.  I think tranquilizers may be in order.  Spot, on the other hand, is generally fine in cars.  Except for the whole “let me whine all the way there unless I can put my paw on your lap” and “OMG CAR! I am scared so I’m going to pee in my carrier!!” part.  Poor little guys.  Drugs are the answer!

Back to work for me.  A couple of more weeks and I won’t have to get up from my couch to go to work again.  I plan on growing into it.  Sweet.

Why hello, interwebs

Yes, I know I never post.  Tagline, read it.

I have had no real notable personal news as of late.  All I ever do anymore is work.  I’ve been so inundated at work that I’m not sure what this whole “weekend” thing is about anymore.

I did go on a trip to Disneyland with my sister and her family in March.  She’s having a baby in a few weeks, despite her bribery attempts to get the doctor to move up the delivery date.  This one will be another big baby.   Big as in > 9lbs.  This is why I am not in a hurry to have kids (although about now I’d say I’m pushing the envelope on that).

The big news is the big move.  Chris landed a job in San Francisco.  First week of July I’m boxing up Spot and Salem (seriously considering it anyway…those cats are fussy) and heading there to live.  I’m a fairly sane and logical person, but my old superstitions about the Vegas Black Hole have been floating around my head.  So much so I’ve done little talking about it for fear I’ll jinx it.  The last time I tried to get out I got dumped two months before I was supposed to leave.  By the husband.  Whee.

I will be keeping my current job.  They were nice enough to bundle me off with a shiny new laptop and a stack of tickets so high that I’ll probably be working until retirement to get it all done.  I am definitely not complaining.  I have worked hard on my current project, and I’d really hate to leave it just as it’s starting to take off.  Even if it is taking off like that godawful United flight I was on the other day.  You know, the lift-offs where you are praying the plane makes it off the runway?  Yeah.

So I’ll be working from home, have peace and quiet (minus the whiny cat) and will probably be able to relax a little bit more than I do right now.

The triple bonus is my cousin Paul will be nearby, so I will definitely not be short of things to do.  He makes it his job to make sure I’m not hiding at home all of the time.  My sister will be a lot closer too.  I expect frequent visits from her zoo of a family.

Wish me luck!  Maybe I’ll have time for this poor neglected blog again.

Getting with the times

I finally got around to hanging up my Christmas-present action figures.  You go ahead and mock me.  Just go ahead.  But you will mock no more when I tell you that in addition to Sam, Jack, and Daniel from Stargate, I got a Dexter action figure, complete with blood slide and forensics laminate.  You can come and fawn over it if you like.

I’m a minor nerd sci-fi show collector.  From high school until halfway through college, I amassed an impressive collection of ST:TNG items.  I had collected cards, action figures, games, a data mask, posters, communicator, uniform top, and tons of other stuff.  When I went from my “nerd” to “semi-normal person” transformation (about the time I quit the goth bit) towards the tail end of college, I wound up stowing it all in an ugly-ass 90s style green and blue trunk with pink handles.

I believe it’s time to move on to the next stage of my life. I’m going to make a Stargate trunk.

I will require a zat, Goa’uld hand device, and Jaffa staff weapon.  Oh, not for the trunk.  I’m going to make those things work and decimate my enemies. Who do you think I am?